Rules for my son

Rules For My Son
APRIL 5, 2012AARON

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.
3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.
4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially in the end zone.
6. Request the late check-out.
7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
10. Don’t fill up on bread.
11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.
12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.
16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
19. Never turn down a breath mint.
20. In a game of HORSE, sometimes a simple free throw will get ’em.
21. A sportcoat is worth 1000 words.
22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.
24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
25. Eat lunch with the new kid.
26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
27. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
28. See it on the big screen.
29. GIve credit. Take the blame.
30. Write down your dreams.


(Source)
http://rulesformyunbornson.tumblr.com/


Podcast #201: Rules For My Newborn Daughter | The Art Of Manliness

rulesformynewborndaughter:

Available May10!​

rulesformynewborndaughter:

Rules for My Newborn Daughter​

rulesformynewborndaughter:

Rules for My Newborn Daughter​

rulesformynewborndaughter:

Rules for My Newborn Daughter​

rulesformynewborndaughter:

Rules for My Newborn Daughter​

rulesformynewborndaughter:

Rules for My Newborn Daughter​

rulesformynewborndaughter:

Rules for My Newborn Daughter​

rulesformynewborndaughter:

Rules for My Newborn Daughter​

rulesformynewborndaughter:

Rules for My Newborn Daughter​

rulesformynewborndaughter:

Rules for My Newborn Daughter​

COMING (VERY) SOON.

rulesformynewborndaughter:

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!​

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rulesformynewborndaughter:

Vivian Maier​

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580. Spend time with your mother. She’s cooler than you think.
579. Sometimes the best tool in your toolbox is a walk around the block. And sometime it’s a hammer.
“It appears that nothing can be more improving to a young naturalist, than a journey in distant countries.
Charles Darwin

EVOLVED. Charles Darwin at #NYFW14 (b. Feb. 12, 1809)
578. Under no circumstances should you ask someone to remove their shoes.
577. Don’t throw away the jelly jar.
576. No one wants to hear you talk about your health, your dreams, your diet, or your money.

(via Mrs. Maria Matthiessen on This American LIfe)
REQUIRED LISTENING: Lou Reed, “Perfect Day”

LOU (1942-2013)
575. There are plenty of tricks to staying young. One is matching pajamas.
574. If you’re going to drive a hard bargain, you better have exact change.

 

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573. You can learn a lot about a man by how he coils a hose.

Buster Keaton, ladykiller.
573. Would you bring a girl bad music? Best to know a thing or two about flowers.
572. Accept with pleasure or regretfully decline, but one need not give reason why.
571. When the world around you has nothing more to offer, by all means, wear headphones.

BORN TODAY. Montgomery Clift, the Archetype
“So many of the good ones are gone. Be the new good ones.
Danny Frank Ocean
570. Never buy a car at night.

(via Mr. Rick Tucker)
569. If you find yourself just scratching out a living, at least be the best hen in the pen.

GIVEAWAY! Re-post this pic or give it a caption for a chance to win a genuine signed first edition copy of GAINING GROUND by Forrest Pritchard, a honest to goodness gentleman farmer. It’s a great book about fathers, sons, and saving the family farm. And my favorite book of the summer. Well, second favorite.
568. You can spare us the photograph of your meal.
567. Eat fewer ingredients.
566. It’s not a yard sale. You don’t bargain at the farmer’s market.

Johnny Cash was a farmer.
FARMERS WANTED!

When I was growing up in the burbs, my family grew exactly two things. Onion grass, which I was instructed to pull by hand on sweltering Saturday mornings and pile high into a rusty wheelbarrow, and mint, which grew in a huge bush beside the garage. And on warm summer nights, my dad would send me out to pick a few fresh mint leaves that he would promptly dunk into his gin and tonic(s).
My gardening skills never progressed beyond a patio tomato plant on a New York rooftop. But I think famers are swell, and no food taste quite as good as food you grow yourself.
Does anyone have any good rules, tips, or advice about farming, gardening, or growing food? Send them my way, I’d love to share. We could all use a green thumb.

 

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“Don’t treat your soil like dirt. A field is like a reputation…it takes a lifetime to build a good one, and an instant to ruin it.
Forrest Pritchard, farmer. (and author of GAINING GROUND: A Story of Farmers Markets, Local Food and Saving the Family Farm)

THIS GARDEN KILLS FASCISTS.
565. Real men have green thumbs.
“If I’ve learned anything from television, it’s that you can’t trust a genie.
Simon Rich, Elliot Allagash
564. Keep smiling, and they’ll never see you coming.

SWING! Happy Birthday Duke. (b. April 29, 1899)
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.
Margaret Thatcher (1925-2013)
563. For the love of Pete, don’t wear cologne to the gym.
562. Never show a fool unfinished work.
561. If you are blessed with the ability to wink, use it.
560. Don’t DVR the big game.

Pierrepont Hicks SS13 Neckwear Lookbook
with Walker Lamond
A WORD ON TIES
In the five years or so since I created this site, I have not run a single advertisement or product endorsement, but If you will allow the interruption, today I would like to draw your attention to Pierrepont Hicks, a tie and apparel company out of Minnesota.
Not only do they make swell ties, the proprietors are terrific people who I consider dear friends. I encourage you to check out their SS13 lookbook for the Spring Summer collection of neckwear, in which I proudly wear a few of the styles available now on their website. It’s not too early to pick up some great cotton ties for the coming warm weather. In fact, it’s highly encouraged.
Sincerely,
Walker

Mick’s mum.
“God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.
Rudyard Kipling

 

559. A word on exercise. Squats.
558. Wash your own car.

And while you’re at it, wash mine too.
Required Listening: “When I Grow Up to be a Man,” The Beach Boys
(Source: Spotify)
557. The secret to writing is working.

*John Hughes wrote the following fifteen movies in a seven year span: Mr. Mom, Vacation, Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, European Vacation, Weird Science, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller, Some Kind of Wonderful, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, She’s Having a Baby, The Great Outdoors, Uncle Buck, Christmas Vacation, and Home Alone.
Not bad.

THE MASTER: Happy Birthday, John Hughes. And thank you for my childhood. (b. Feb. 18, 1950)
“There is no such thing as a natural-born pilot.
Chuck Yeager (b. Feb. 13, 1923)
556. Know what you’re getting into. That goes especially for hot tubs.

TIME MACHINE: It loosens more than muscles.
HAVE YOU TRIED THE SHUFFLE BUTTON?

(it’s up in the top left corner)
(Source: rulesformyunbornson)
555. Whatever you do, don’t read the comments.

Happy Birthday Bob.
554. If you don’t believe one man can change the world, then you, my son, are not he.

THE BABE. Happy Birthday, George Herman Ruth (b. Feb. 6, 1895)
553. Eat breakfast.
“Yesterday’s home runs don’t win today’s games.
Babe Ruth

 

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APOLOGIES for the interruption, I was temporarily detained. Let’s get started again, shall we? What haven’t we covered?
552. Never retire.

NEVER RETIRE. Filmmaking legend DA Pennebaker, 87, wins first Oscar.
551. Your suit deserves better than loafers.
“That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
Walt Whitman
550. Aim high. No one dreams of being an accountant.

with apologies to accountants

Alan Shepard, First American in Space. (born Nov. 18, 1923)
REQUIRED LISTENING: “Spaceman,” Harry Nilsson
(Source: Spotify)
“Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
Arthur Miller

It’s amazing what you can accomplish just by asking. (Marilyn and Arthur Miller, b. Oct. 17, 1915)
549. Master a second language, preferably math.
548. There is one way to cook perfect bacon. Find it.
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Groucho Marx
547. Never straighten another man’s tie.

He calls em like he sees them.

 

46. Don’t blame the refs.
545. The only good seat in a convertible is behind the wheel.

Drink it straight from the source.
544. The best part of watering the lawn is playing with the hose.

IT’S ALL IN THE HIPS. (Thanks to jillianjiggs for the caption, well deserving of a runner up prize to be announced.)
543. You never miss a practice, and I’ll never miss a game.

(via http://machinegunsandacameralens.com/)
542. Don’t show up the pitcher or the next one will be in your ear.
“Don’t think, it can only hurt the ball club.
Crash Davis
541. If you’re late to the ballpark, wait until the third out of an inning to take your seat.

DOWN IN FRONT.
540. Plant a garden.
539. You promise not to be my shrink, and I promise not to be your barber.
538. Never underestimate the power of taking out the trash without being asked.

(via the inimitable Joe Gannon)
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
Harry Truman (b. May 8th, 1884)

GIVE EM HELL, HARRY.

 

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537. When your number is called, be ready.
536. Learn to identify birds by song, and you will never be lonely again.

PUT A BIRD ON IT. Happy Birthday, Mr. Audubon
“A true conservationist is a man who knows that the world is not given by his fathers, but borrowed from his children.
John James Audubon (b. April 26, 1785)
REQUIRED LISTENING: Juliana Hatfield Three, “For the Birds”
535. Time is precious. Cancel your magazine subscriptions.
534. A sharp knife is safer than a dull one.

Please don’t belittle me.
(Source: turtlesoap)
533. Save your clippings.

You don’t see the peak til you’ve passed it.
“This quitting thing, it’s a hard habit to break once you start.
Coach Buttermaker, Bad News Bears

MATTHAU.
532. Never turn down a breath mint.
531. If you need to explain a joke, it probably isn’t funny.
530. The drugstore is no place to catch up with old friends.

That sure is a lot of cranberry juice, Phyllis.

 

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